external processing

how is it possible that my life ended up this busy??? I'm doing this stuff:

• 20 hrs of research a week
• prison ministry on thursday nights
• small church every tuesday night
• 4 classes plus homeworks
• uganda water project
• maintain relationships with friends
• homeless ministry friday nights
• relationship with my Father
• bunch of little stuff

i get no exercise, no rest, no sleep...but i'm learning alot, and i'm fairly happy...

But I need to bring it back to priorities:

Number 1: relationship with God. If I don't get my time in the morning with Him, everything else is a waste of time. Everything has to revolve around this....i have to fight everyday to make sure I get my hour with Him. It's a war, and i have to win it.

Number 2: school.. need to be responsible to what God has called me to...the team I'm working with is doing amazing stuff - they seem to be the only people at Baylor that are doing anything useful, but i'm glad to be a part of it! it's a huge priviledge to work with them and learn everything that I am. however, this does mean i have to say no to my friends alot.

Number 3: the Church... being part of it in Waco, what that means.. Church is Christian friends, non-Christian friends, witnessing, outreach, sunday worship, accountability, prayer...

As long as I can keep this all in mind, i'm going to be ok!

Kyler

His name was Kyler, looked spanish. I sat down next to him and started asking questions. He was 14. He knew lots of martial arts - karate and tae kwon do and some other stuff... He didn't look at me when he talked, but he was happy to talk... He has never met his dad..doesn't even know his name. He was adopted and raised by his aunt, and he didn't know he was adopted until he was 8, and that's when he started getting into trouble. He likes his aunt's husband, and would never get into trouble when he was around, but then they divorced. He started getting into a lot of trouble at 12... Now he's locked up in here, the juvie prison, for a long time. His daughter was born 2 months ago. His girl is 13. He gets real angry when guys start talking about his girl. He wants to see his daughter. He prays for her.

The first time he saw his real mom he tried to kill her. He pointed and pulled the trigger, but the handgun jammed. He cleared it, but it jammed again. He cleared it again, but it jammed a third time. Then he thought, maybe I shouldn't kill her. So he didn't kill her. His mom doesn't hold it against him. She was only mad that he has a daughter now.

Two months ago, my roommate went to the juvie prison and led Kyler into a relationship with God. And that's why I'm telling this story. There's lots of sad stories out there. But I'm telling you - this kid was changed. He wasn't what anyone would expect. He had peace. Kyler is reading through John and learning about being a Christian. Most of his fellow inmates aren't Christians, but he's chosen to be different. His life seemed over at 12, but now God is transforming and rescuing him. And that's why I follow Jesus - cause He's real to people. He changes lives. He makes all things new.

questions of late...

Whoever said I could follow Jesus and my life wouldn't be changed 180 degrees?

When I wake up every morning, do I think to myself: 'I am a missionary. My goal is to love GodIsLove and to preach the gospel to my neighbors"?

When I look at you, do I stereotype you, or fear you, or envy you, or lust about you, or think about how different you are from me, or avoid you, or hate you, or want you, or judge you, or put you on a pedestal, or look with disgust, or do I see through it and look with love from GodIsLove?

Am I thinking more about my church and how they do things and what church ministries I'm involved with, or do I think more about Jesus and being obedient to His commands?

Is church my social club?

Is God good enough to entertain me?

What if following Jesus hurts?

Dear Beloved,

God approves you, and loves you.  He values you!  His opinion of you is the only one that matters. And He sees you as His treasured possession!  So get out there and live like it!

Sincerely,

me