writing = vulnerability

Gunshots around the corner. Warm breezes. Dogs barking. Always barking. Birds chirping.
Sirens. Always sirens. Baby's crying. Hispanic music and rap and somebody's using my piano...

Jesus. Selfishness everywhere. Even the Christians, hiding, very cautious, full of fear.

Young guy banging on my window at 2am. wants to talk. Should I just go through the redlight?

2am. The man under the car is folded in half. The car is upside down. I'm holding the stretcher. The jaws of life aren't working. Not big enough. They need more jacks...this is taking too long, minutes have turned into an hour, they still can't get him out, they're getting frantic now and the paramedic is crawling under the car and is sticking him with an IV in each arm. I can see a little blood and I didn't know the human body could do that and I'm still holding the stretcher...and wait, now he's coming out and the firefighters are all shouting, and he's slipping as he slides off the backboard and wait...wait....he's totally drunk...he's laughing ... he looks up at the paramedic and says 'well isn't she hot...' and I want to punch him but I strap him down and load him into the back of the ambulance and slam the door shut. after all, it's now 3am.

Jumping 14,100 ft

Thanks Riley for the picture. I would highly recommend jumping out of an airplane! Once per lifetime is enough though...

I don't want to be the same person that I was yesterday. I don't want to deal with the same personal problems, the same temptations, the same bitterness or anger over and over again tomorrow. I don't want to stuck in a cycle of selfishness and judgemental attitudes towards others. I don't want to be the same hateful, spiteful person tomorrow that I was today.

Tomorrow, I want to be different. And even more different the next day. We have all been given years and years to let God change us, piece by piece. But if we're not changing, if we're not seeing transformation, if we're still dealing with the same issues that we were dealing with two or three years ago, something might be wrong! God has fresh life for everyone - it's our own stubborness that prevents us from becoming more like Jesus.

Tomorrow, I want to be a man with more love for others. I want to love more and judge less. I want to know God more deeply than I did today. Tomorrow, I want to be humbler, simpler, and more child-like in my faith. I want to serve people more tomorrow, I want to wash more feet, and listen more. I want to more full of life, fuller of Living Water. More radiant. More full of joy.

Tomorrow, I don't want to do more things. I want to be different. I want to let God change me. I'm far from perfect, and I'm never going to change if I don't crave transformation. Tommorrow, I will decide to do things differently than the day before. To live that change that I want... And I'm gonna keep changing, every day, to be more and more like Him.